Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the job market in various sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020. Overall, the number of jobs in all four sectors changed drastically, with healthcare and retail at the highest levels in 2020.
On one hand, the retail and healthcare sectors rose significantly from 1960 onwards and reached their peak of a little over 15 million in 2020. Healthcare started at 2 million jobs in 1960 and increased by double ever since. Meanwhile, retail started with over 5 million jobs in 1960 and rose dramatically by 2000, tripling in number.
On the other hand, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors declined substantially. The number of people working in manufacturing was the highest in 1960, at 15 million. These numbers increased by 1980, reaching 20 million, but after this peak, a huge fall was observed, and by 2020, the number of workers in this sector was just under 15 million, close to the number they started from. The agriculture sector dropped from almost 5 million to 2 million by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have provided a clear overview and successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You selected key data points to support your descriptions, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the starting/ending figures for agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, you state healthcare 'increased by double ever since' from 2 million, which would be 4 million, yet you later claim it reached over 15 million. Additionally, the manufacturing sector did not start at 15 million in 1960; the graph shows it starting at approximately 17 million. Ensuring precise data transcription is essential for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction followed by two body paragraphs that group the sectors by trend (rising vs. declining). The use of cohesive devices such as 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Meanwhile' helps guide the reader through the information effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences within paragraphs is smoother; some sentences feel slightly disconnected, and the logical flow could be enhanced by using more varied linking phrases to show contrast or addition.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'drastically,' 'significantly,' 'tripling,' and 'substantially.' These words are appropriate for describing graph data. There are no significant spelling errors, and the vocabulary is generally precise enough to communicate the intended meaning. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or less common lexical items related to data analysis, such as 'a downward trajectory,' 'plateaued,' or 'witnessed a marginal increase,' rather than relying on more common descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your control of grammar is generally good. Most sentences are error-free, and your punctuation is accurate. There are minor issues with tense consistency and phrasing, such as 'increased by double ever since' and 'close to the number they started from,' which are slightly awkward. While you show good control, the range of complex structures is somewhat limited. Incorporating more varied subordinate clauses or passive voice constructions would demonstrate a wider grammatical range and help elevate your score.
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