Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the data selecting and reporting the main features as well as make comparisons where relevant.

Overall, It is clearly that l manufacturing bottom own time but last year decrease. Additionally figures shows climb, stable or decrease.

To initiate with, Manufacturing line startup with 15% in year. Whereas rise about in year1980 was 20%. After that decrease 17% approximately. In 2020 manufacturing higher than 15 %. The health care in 1960 grow with 5% then little down 3% after that stable with year 2000. Then Also small decrease with 2% in year 2020.

On the other hand, the retail and agricultural grow with different value 2% or 6% in year 1960 respectively. Both figures grow approximately same but agriculture little climb in 2000. In year 2020 both are same with more than 15%

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified some trends, the analysis is fragmented and lacks a clear overview of the main features. The data reporting is often inaccurate or confusing, such as the description of the manufacturing sector. You have not effectively compared the sectors, and the lack of sufficient detail means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you provide a clear summary of the overall trends in the introduction and support your points with accurate data points from the graph, ensuring you meet the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often mechanical, such as 'To initiate with' and 'On the other hand,' which do not always fit the context of the data being presented. The progression of ideas is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors by their growth or decline trends.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'grow,' 'climb,' and 'decrease' without much variation. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing bottom own time' and 'little down,' which are not standard English expressions. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a sharp decline,' and ensure that your terminology is used accurately to describe economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('figures shows'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are incomplete or lack the necessary prepositions to make the meaning clear. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses for past data and the appropriate use of articles and prepositions when describing numerical trends.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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