Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart compairs the number of jobs generated by each sector of economy in US between 1960 and 2020.
in 1960 the most jobs generated by the economy sector was manufacturing which was approximately 15 million jobs and this significantly increased and after 1980 if has droped to 13 million in 2020.
Whereas, retail and healthcare has the most job opportunities in 2020 by far in the US economy sector which has gradually increased over the years as peopel have become more concerned about their healthcare.
Conversly, agriculture and manufacturing had both decliened over the years and in 2020 agriculture had only about 2-3 million job in the US economy sector and manufacturing still had a good number of jobs nearly about 13 million job opportunities in the US economy sector even after the drop in this sector which is pretty close to both retail and healthcare which has the most in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision in reporting the data. For instance, the statement that manufacturing 'significantly increased' and then 'dropped' is vague, and the comparison between sectors in 2020 is slightly confused by repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that the data points are cited more accurately and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends, such as the clear divergence between the growth of service-related sectors and the decline of agriculture and manufacturing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, 'Conversly' is used to introduce a point that is not strictly a contrast to the previous sentence, and the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. The referencing is also occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the 2020 figures. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of your writing and improve the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are several spelling errors, such as 'compairs' (compares), 'peopel' (people), 'Conversly' (Conversely), and 'decliened' (declined). Additionally, the phrasing is repetitive, with the phrase 'in the US economy sector' appearing multiple times, which makes the writing feel less natural. To improve, focus on using a wider range of synonyms to describe trends (e.g., 'plummeted', 'surged', 'remained stable') and ensure that you proofread your work to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader. Examples include 'the most jobs generated... was manufacturing' (subject-verb agreement), 'if has droped' (incorrect pronoun and tense), and 'retail and healthcare has' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences lacking necessary commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tense usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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