Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The chart demonstrates the details of four various work place of American economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing was the peak employments level among the other sector & Retail had the second largest employe though out the time period. Agriculture began to fall from the starting number to almost half of it.Lastly, healthcare employment increased steadily from 2.5 millions to just over 15 millions.
Manufacturing sector started with an decent amount of people in 1960. For the next two decades it created almost 5 millions numbers of employments & reaching out 20 millions employee in 1980 which was the peakest workers number of the sector. Then the employments level decreased though out the time. Starting with 5 millions of it's Job holder retail was growing till the time period & had 16 millions of working people .
Agriculture sector fluctuated over the past century and it reached at just over 3 millions of employment in 2020.On the other hand, Health care rose from just over 2.5 millions of employees to almost 16 millions of workers as like the retail sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the statement that 'Manufacturing was the peak employments level' is accurate, but the description of the Agriculture sector as having 'fluctuated over the past century' is inaccurate, as the graph only covers 1960–2020. Additionally, some data points are imprecise or misread, such as the claim that Manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, which is not clearly supported by the visual data. To improve, ensure that all data points are read accurately and that the summary focuses strictly on the provided timeframe.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Lastly' used to introduce a trend rather than a final point in a list. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing trends across different time periods. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the logical flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'peakest workers number' and 'work place of American economy'. The repetition of 'millions of employees' and 'millions of workers' suggests a limited range of synonyms. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'employment figures', 'workforce', or 'declining trend', and avoid non-standard superlative forms like 'peakest'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'four various work place', 'employe though out the time period', and 'it's Job holder'. Subject-verb agreement and pluralisation issues are common. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic proofreading for articles, plural forms, and correct preposition usage would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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