Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing provided most of the jobs at the beginning of the period, which was eventually surpassed by retail and healthcare sectors.
Among the four different sectors healthcare and manufacturing witnessed an decrease, while the others observed a upward trend.
A detailed analysis of the line graph reveals that the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector increase significantly from 15 millions to 20 millions during 1960 to 2020, this figure dropped back moderately to 13 millions jobs in 2020. On the other hand there was a dramatic incline in the number of jobs in the retail healthcare from 3 millions jobs to 15 millions jobs in the same period.
In 1960, both retail and agricultural had equal number of jobs 7 millions. Number of jobs in retail sectors witnessed a sharp rise, reaching 15 millions jobs in 2020. By contrast, the number of jobs in agricultural sector declined significantly to 3 millions jobs during the same period. In spite of fluctuations in the middle years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview. However, there are significant inaccuracies in your data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing increased from 15 to 20 million, but the graph shows it starting at roughly 20 million and declining. Additionally, you mention 'retail healthcare' as one sector, whereas the graph clearly distinguishes between 'Retail' and 'Healthcare'. These misinterpretations of the data significantly impact the accuracy of your response. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the labels and axes with the plotted lines before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, and you use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand' and 'By contrast' to signal shifts in focus. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned above. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, and some transitions feel slightly mechanical. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central theme and that the logical flow between sentences is smoother and more precise.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'witnessed', 'dramatic incline', and 'fluctuations'. However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'an decrease' (should be 'a decrease') and 'an upward trend' (should be 'an upward trend'). Additionally, the confusion between sector names suggests a lack of precision. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and ensuring correct article usage would help elevate your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing sector increase' instead of 'increased') and pluralization (e.g., '15 millions' instead of '15 million'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the overall score. Focus on proofreading for basic tense consistency and noun-number agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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