Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates job offers in 4 various divisions, they are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthacare, which takes place in US between 1960 to 2020.

The manufacturing sector had a rise till 1980 then gradually declined over the years, followed by retail which has a steady growth over the past 60 years, agriculture sector has been encountering fall in its jobs ever since 1960 and it has been steady since 1980, on the other hand healthcare jobs were significantly sky rocketed ever since 1960.

In the year 1980, major events were fall of manufacturing jobs and rising of retail jobs, hence, it year plays a significant role in the timeline.In 2020, both healthcare and retail jobs are equal in nature, however, retail and agriculture started with same number of jobs but in 2020 one has significantly rose while other declined.

Overall, Retail and healthcare sector has seen a increase in jobs, however, manufacturing and agriculture jobs have been falling.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention that manufacturing declined and healthcare rose, you fail to provide specific data points (e.g., approximate numbers or years) to support these claims, which is essential for a Band 7+. The comparison in the third paragraph is slightly confusing; stating that retail and agriculture started with the same number of jobs is not clearly supported by the visual data. To improve, ensure you select key figures to illustrate the trends rather than just describing the direction of the lines.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into four paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a report. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the phrase 'ever since' is used multiple times, and the transition between sentences in the second paragraph feels slightly disjointed. While the overall progression is clear, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the flow feel a bit basic. Improving the variety of transition signals would help the response move more smoothly between ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'rise', 'fall', and 'decline'. Phrases like 'equal in nature' and 'sky rocketed' are slightly unnatural in an academic context. There are also minor spelling errors, such as 'healthacare'. To reach a higher band, incorporate more precise academic collocations such as 'experienced a downward trend', 'remained relatively stable', or 'surpassed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For instance, 'they are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthacare, which takes place in US' contains a comma splice and missing articles. The sentence 'it year plays a significant role' is grammatically incorrect. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'retail and healthcare sector has seen a increase'. These errors are noticeable but do not completely impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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