Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in the USA for different segments—healthcare, retail, manufacturing, and agriculture between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that all the job segments highly fluctuated over the periods. Healthcare and retail were the most dominant and significant growth in the American economyMaunfacturing leading in the start of the period.
In 1960, retail and agriculture accounted for 6 percent, but in 1980 retail rose 10 percent, while agriculture slightly decreased 3 percent and had a significant decrease at the end of the period. In contrast, retail jobs in the USA economy pump and rise every given period.
By 1960, manufacturing had risen slightly to 15%, making it the largest job sector, and ended up at 20% in 1980, which is the highest point in the graph. In contrast, healthcare accounted for the lowest sector in American jobs, at just about 3 percent, but by the end of the period, healthcare matched the manufacturing start point in 2020. While the manufacturing job sector plunged in 2000 and 2020 to 17 to 13, respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a general overview and identifies some key trends, but it fails to accurately report the data. There are significant inaccuracies in the figures cited (e.g., stating retail was 6% in 1960 when the graph shows a different value, and misinterpreting the manufacturing peak). The comparison between sectors is underdeveloped, and the description of trends is often confusing or contradictory. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely from the axes and that the relationship between the sectors is clearly explained rather than just listed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Overall'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not effectively link the sentences. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. Improving the logical flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words would help create a more cohesive response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and sometimes inappropriate for an academic report. Phrases like 'retail jobs in the USA economy pump and rise' are unnatural and imprecise. There are also spelling errors such as 'Maunfacturing'. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on using more precise verbs to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'surged', 'declined') and avoid informal or non-standard phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations will significantly improve the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'healthcare matched the manufacturing start point'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the overall control of grammar is inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that complex sentences are constructed accurately to avoid confusion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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