Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provides information about the proportion of jobs in four sectors of the economy within US in the middle of 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the graph demonstrates that in 1960 the number of jobs in manufacturing was quite higher than other sectors, however, gradually the rate of jobs in manufacturing sector dropped, simultaneously rates of retail and healthcare went up higher in 2020, meanwhile agriculture rate remains low.
The number of jobs in the manufacturing was on top of the list in 1960, although there is gradually declined in it, while, the rate of retail was less than 10% in 1960, however, further exceed in its rate can be seen in 2020.
The growth in the jobs opportunities in agricultural sector can't be exceeded above 10%, meanwhile, if we talk about rate of healthcare, they rose up from 7% in 1960 to 16% in 2020 equivalent to retail.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the student mentions that manufacturing was 'on top of the list' but fails to provide specific data points to support the comparison. The description of the agricultural sector is slightly inaccurate, as the graph shows a decline rather than growth. While the main features are identified, the lack of precise data integration and the slight misinterpretation of the agricultural trend prevent a higher score. The response would benefit from more specific figures to substantiate the claims made about the shifts in the economy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive and mechanical. Phrases like 'however' and 'meanwhile' are used frequently and sometimes inappropriately, which disrupts the flow of the text. For example, the transition between the manufacturing trend and the retail trend in the third paragraph is clunky. While there is an overall progression, the lack of varied linking words and the somewhat disjointed sentence structure make the writing feel less cohesive than a Band 6 or 7 response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. The student relies on basic terms such as 'rate', 'jobs', and 'go up'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'further exceed in its rate', which is not standard English. The student attempts to describe trends but lacks the sophisticated vocabulary required for higher bands, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surpassed'. The repetition of 'rate' throughout the text indicates a limited range of lexical items, which restricts the ability to convey information with nuance and academic tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect preposition usage ('within US', 'in the middle of 1960'), subject-verb agreement errors ('agriculture rate remains low'), and awkward phrasing ('the growth in the jobs opportunities... can't be exceeded'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur in almost every sentence. The student needs to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading to ensure that tense consistency and article usage are correct.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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