Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates data about how many employments created by four US economic sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare showed a significant upward trend throughout the period, while agriculture sector had the lowest figures. Meanwhile, Manufacturing industry peaked during initial couple of decades, before a sharp decline.

At the beginning Manufacturing industry was the largest sector with 15 million jobs and peaked with 20 million figure, which declined to around 13 million in 2020. The agriculture sector experienced a substantial drop during of 3 million during initial couple of decades, then remained steady from 1960 to 2000. A minimal decline occurred in next 20 years.

Healthcare and retail sectors started with approximately 2.5 and 6 million jobs, rose with almost same rate having figures of 5 million and 10 million in 1980. Both sectors surpassed manufacturing industry and converged in 2020 with the number of around 16 million employments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response successfully identifies the main features of the graph, including the upward trends in healthcare and retail, the decline in manufacturing, and the relative stability of agriculture. You have provided a clear overview and supported the main points with data from the graph. However, the report could be improved by ensuring all data points are accurately described; for instance, the description of the agriculture sector's decline is slightly confusing due to the phrasing 'during of 3 million'. Overall, you have covered all parts of the task well, providing a clear comparison between the sectors throughout the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. You use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'At the beginning', and 'then' to guide the reader through the timeline. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by minor mechanical errors in referencing and sentence structure, such as 'during of 3 million' and 'in next 20 years'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the start of the period to the end.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significant upward trend', 'peaked', 'substantial drop', and 'converged'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'how many employments created' (should be 'the number of jobs') and '20 million figure' (should be 'a figure of 20 million'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on using more precise nouns and natural collocations when describing economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'while agriculture sector had the lowest figures' and 'Both sectors surpassed manufacturing industry and converged in 2020'. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('the agriculture sector', 'the manufacturing industry') and awkward phrasing ('during of 3 million'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, ensure consistent use of articles and check for missing prepositions or redundant words in your sentence construction.

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