Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors in us economy such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the year between 1960 to 2020.
Overall manufacturing was the highest employment in 1960 and remained so still 2000, but after that its employment level significantly declined in 2020.by contrast healthcare and retail experienced sustanble growth over the period while agriculture was totally opposite from these three sectors.
In 1960, manufacturing accounted for approximately 15 million jobs, compared with around 6 million in both retail and agriculture. Healthcare only about 2b million in 1980 before falling to roughly 16 million in 2000 and 12 million in 2020.
Retail followed a contrasting upward trend incresingly steadily from about 6 million jobs in 1960 to approximately 10 million.
Healthcare also grew considerably from roughly 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you identify the main trends, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, you state healthcare was '2b million' in 1980, which is a typographical error and factually confusing. Furthermore, the description of the trends is incomplete; you mention the sectors but fail to provide a comprehensive overview of the final data points in 2020 for all categories. To improve, ensure you cover all data points clearly and meet the length requirement to allow for full development of the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt, such as the jump between the overview and the specific data points. The logical progression is hindered by the lack of sufficient detail and the fragmented nature of the sentences. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary range is adequate for the task but lacks precision. There are several spelling errors, such as 'sustanble' and 'incresingly', which distract the reader. You rely on basic descriptors like 'grew considerably' and 'upward trend'. While these are functional, they do not demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure accurate spelling. Avoid informal phrasing and ensure that numerical data is presented clearly without typographical errors, as seen with the '2b million' mistake.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For instance, 'This line graph illustrate' should be 'illustrates' (subject-verb agreement), and 'in the year between 1960 to 2020' is grammatically incorrect. There are also issues with punctuation and sentence fragments, such as 'Healthcare only about 2b million in 1980'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of the information provided. To improve, focus on basic subject-verb agreement and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and a finite verb.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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