Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the proportion of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 and 2020.
Overall, this line graph main objective was how many number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, and from them healthcare and retail slightly increased continuously, and in contrast, agriculture steadily declined.
According to this chart, the proportion of retail rose continuously from around 6 and reached in 15 millions, and same as healthcare, the number of jobs increased dramatically from around 3 and reached same as retail level. This both jobs show that many individuals preferred and involved among four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.
In contrast, the number of agriculture dramatically declined from round 6 millions and reached in round 3 millions which was the lowest job sector in the US. But, among 4 jobs manufacturing fluctuated. It increased in 1980, then after, it decreased in the large number.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the reporting of data is often inaccurate or vague, such as stating 'around 6' without specifying units or correctly interpreting the scale. The overview is present but lacks clarity, as the phrasing 'main objective was how many number of jobs' is awkward and does not effectively summarize the key trends. While the response addresses the task, the lack of precision in data reporting and the somewhat superficial analysis of the trends limit the score. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately read from the graph and that the overview highlights the most significant differences between the sectors clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For example, 'same as healthcare' and 'this both jobs' are grammatically weak and disrupt the flow of ideas. The progression of information is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the transition to the manufacturing sector feels abrupt. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'In contrast' and 'Overall', the overall cohesion is hampered by frequent errors in referencing and sentence structure, which occasionally makes the logical connection between ideas difficult to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'reached in 15 millions' and 'involved among four sectors'. The repetition of basic terms like 'number of jobs' and 'increased' limits the sophistication of the writing. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the frequent errors in word formation and usage suggest a limited lexical range. To improve, focus on using more precise verbs for trends (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted') and ensure correct prepositional usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies on a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but these are frequently marred by grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, and faulty sentence construction (e.g., 'this line graph main objective was how many number of jobs'). There are also persistent errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'reached in 15 millions' instead of 'reached 15 million'. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. A greater focus on basic grammatical accuracy is needed before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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