Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given linegraph illustrates the data of employmets in different four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Retail experienced significantly rose throughout the period while agriculture represented a downward trand over entire period.
Looking at the data in more detail, Manufacturing started from highest number than others approx 16 in 1960 and it rose slightly in 1980. However, ofter that, Manufacturing was plummeted till the end of period. In contrast, both Retail and Healthcare started from just above 5 and under 3 respectively in 1960. Both followed an upward trend throughout the period. Retail rose from 6 to over 16 and Healthcare climbed to over 15. Eventually, agriculture represented a downward trend. started from 6 and experienced a decrease throughout the period from 6 to just over zero.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You successfully highlight the decline in agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare, but the description of manufacturing is slightly inaccurate regarding the timeline of its decline. Furthermore, the lack of sufficient detail and the failure to reach the minimum length means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview and include more specific data points to support your comparisons, ensuring you meet the length requirement to allow for full development of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph, which provides a basic structure. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. While you use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'However', the transitions between sentences can feel abrupt. The paragraphing is also quite limited; the body paragraph is dense and would benefit from being split to better separate the contrasting trends. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus to guide the reader through your analysis more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You use some relevant terms like 'upward trend' and 'downward trend', but there are noticeable errors in word choice and form, such as 'employmets' instead of 'employment' and 'ofter' instead of 'after'. Additionally, phrases like 'plummeted till the end of period' are slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure you proofread for basic spelling and collocation errors. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will also help improve your lexical variety.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Retail experienced significantly rose' (should be 'experienced a significant rise') and 'started from highest number than others' (should be 'started from a higher number than the others'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of comparative structures to enhance your grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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