Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of employment across four sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US economy over a 60 year period, from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the retail and healthcare sector gradually increased over the period, while the agriculture sector experienced a decline. Meanwhile, the manufacturing sector fluctuated considerably throughout the period. Retail and healthcare had the highest sectors.
In 1960, the manufacturing sector people employed has initially highest approximately 15 million which rose in 1980 up to 20 million but dropped significantly up to 13 million in 2020. In contrast, the agriculture job sector was at 5 million in 1960 but fell in 1980 around at 3 million and slightly decreased in 2020 which is approximately 2 million in 2020.
The retail sector was at 5 million in 1960; however it gradually increased in 1980 which is 10 million and it rose up to 16 million in 2020. The healthcare was lowest in 1960 around at 2 million which dramatically increased in 1980 which is 5 million and climbed at 16 million similar to retail sector in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that retail and healthcare 'had the highest sectors' is vague, and the claim that manufacturing 'fluctuated considerably' is a slight overstatement given the clear peak and subsequent decline. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks a clear comparison of the relative positions of the sectors at the start and end of the period, which would have strengthened the response. The data points are generally accurate, but the summary could be more analytical.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'however', and 'meanwhile' are used to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions are slightly awkward, such as 'The healthcare was lowest in 1960 around at 2 million which dramatically increased in 1980 which is 5 million'. The use of referencing is sometimes repetitive, and the paragraphing is functional but could be more sophisticated in its logical progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'significantly', and 'dramatically'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing sector people employed has initially highest' and 'climbed at 16 million'. These errors do not impede communication, but they highlight a lack of precision. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on more natural collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing when describing trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with preposition usage ('around at 3 million') and sentence construction ('The healthcare was lowest... which is 5 million'). Some sentences are clunky, such as 'the manufacturing sector people employed has initially highest'. While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of the data. A greater variety of error-free complex structures is needed to move into the higher bands.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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