Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of jobs across four different economic sectors-Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare- in the united states from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Healthcare and Retail experienced steady growth over the 60-year period, with Healthcare showing the most dramatic rise. Conversely, the number of jobs in Manufacturing and Agriculture declined, though Manufacturing remained a major employment sector throughout most of the period.
In 1960, Manufacturing was the most dominant sector, providing 15 million jobs. This number peaked at 20 million in 1980 before steadily declining roughly 13 million by 2020. Agriculture started as the lowest sector with approximately 6 million jobs in 1960. It experienced a sharp drop to around 3 million by 1980 and remained relatively stagnant, finishing just under 2 million in 2020.
In contrast, Retail and Healthcare employment saw upward trajectories. Retail jobs started at 10 million in 1960, dipped slightly in 1980, and then climbed steadily to reach around 16 million in 2020. Healthcare demonstrated the most significant growth, starting at about 2 million jobs in 1960, it grew consistently each decade, overtaking Retail and Manufacturing to become the largest sector by 2020 with over 16 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response effectively addresses all parts of the task. You have provided a clear overview of the trends and selected key data points to support your descriptions. The comparison between the sectors is well-integrated, particularly the observation regarding Healthcare overtaking other sectors. The data is accurately reported, and the main features are highlighted appropriately. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are described with complete precision; for instance, the decline in Manufacturing is described as 'roughly 13 million', which is a good use of approximation, but ensure such estimations are consistently supported by the visual evidence provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The response is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving from the overview to the declining sectors and then the growing ones. Cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'In contrast', and 'In 1960' are used effectively to guide the reader through the data. The paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to the overall clarity of the report. The flow between sentences is smooth, and there is a clear sense of structure throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectories', 'stagnant', and 'dramatic rise'. The language is precise and appropriate for an academic report. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. To improve further, you could incorporate more sophisticated collocations or varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' to demonstrate a wider range of lexical flexibility, though your current usage is already quite effective for this task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The response demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free, and the control of punctuation is generally strong. There is a minor slip in the first sentence regarding capitalization ('united states'), and a slight punctuation error in the final paragraph ('...jobs in 1960, it grew...'), which creates a comma splice. Despite these minor issues, the majority of your writing is accurate, and the grammatical errors do not interfere with the clarity of the information presented.
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