Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of employees across four sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US economy over a 60 year period , from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare job sectors gradually increased over the period, while the agriculture job sector declined gradually. In addition, the manufacturing job sector had the highest number of employees, but fluctuated considerably throughout the period.

In 1960, the number of people employed in the retail sector was at around 6 million, it rose gradually up to approximately 15 millions in 2020, whereas employment in healthcare was at around 2 million, it significantly increased in 2020 approximately 15 million and similar to retail job sector.

On the other hand, the number of people employed in the manufacturing sector was initially at 15 million in 1960; however, it climbed up to 20 million in 1980, and dropped to 13 million in 2020. In contrast, the number of people employed in the agriculture sector was at 6 million similar to the retail sector but it gradually decreased to 3 million in 1980 which remained relatively stable in 2000 and fell to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the peak; the graph shows the peak occurring around 1980, which you noted, but the data points for other years could be more precise. To reach a higher band, ensure that all figures cited are accurately extracted from the graph and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly linked throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'On the other hand', and 'In contrast' to signal shifts in the narrative. However, some sentences are slightly disjointed, such as the run-on sentence in the third paragraph: '...around 6 million, it rose gradually...'. Using a semicolon or a conjunction would improve the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'remained relatively stable', and 'declined gradually'. There are some minor errors in word form and collocation, such as '15 millions' (should be '15 million') and 'similar to retail job sector' (should be 'similar to the retail sector'). While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Focusing on more varied reporting verbs and precise quantifiers would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with comma splices and article usage (e.g., '...in 2020 approximately 15 million and similar to retail job sector'). The punctuation is occasionally inconsistent, which affects the overall accuracy. To improve, focus on using subordinating conjunctions to connect ideas more effectively and ensure that subject-verb agreement and pluralization are handled correctly. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the response.

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