Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about jobs in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) in the USA between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare sector grew considerably while manufacturing sector showed fluctuations. By contrast, farming industry figured a significant decline.
By year 1980, manufacturing produced huge number of jobs, rose from 15 million employment opportunities to 20 million. Subsequently, this sector fell to 13 million jobs in 2020.
Farming industry dropped over the time.Initially agriculture shared approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 which reduced to halft by the year 2020.
On the other hand, retail and healthcare went up steadily. In 1960, retail produced 6 million jobs and healthcare generated 3 million and these figures rose significantly. By the year 1980, these two jobs sectors increased to 5 million and 10 million respectively.
This figure did not stopped here and grew to 15 millon jobs in retail and 11 million jobs in healthcare by 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. While the overview is clear, the body paragraphs contain some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the statement that agriculture 'reduced to half' by 2020 is not fully supported by the visual data, and the description of the manufacturing trend is slightly confusing regarding the timeline. The report would benefit from a more precise selection of data points to support the comparisons made. Overall, it addresses the task requirements but lacks the depth of analysis required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body sections. Cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'Subsequently', and 'On the other hand' are used to link ideas. However, the flow between some sentences is slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where 'This figure' refers back to a complex set of data points. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the transition between the description of the manufacturing sector and the other sectors could be smoother to improve the overall logical progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'fluctuations', 'significant decline', and 'rose steadily'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'millon' and 'halft', and some awkward phrasing like 'figured a significant decline' and 'these two jobs sectors'. While the range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility needed for a higher band. The writer relies on basic descriptors and occasionally struggles with appropriate collocations when discussing economic data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('the farming industry', 'the healthcare sector') and tense inconsistencies. For example, 'This figure did not stopped here' contains a double verb error. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms. Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure could be more varied to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.