Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about jobs in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) in the USA between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare sector grew considerably while the manufacturing sector showed fluctuations. By contrast, the farming industry experienced a significant decline.

By year 1980, the manufacturing industry produced huge number of jobs, rose from 15 million employment opportunities to 20 million. Subsequently, it sector fell to 13 million jobs in 2020.

Farming industry dropped over the time. Initially agriculture shared approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 which reduced to halft by the year 2020.

On the other hand, retail and healthcare went up steadily. In 1960, retail produced 6 million jobs and healthcare generated 3 million and these figures rose significantly. By the year 1980, these two jobs sectors increased to 5 million and 10 million respectively.

This figure did not stopped here and grew to 15 millon jobs in retail and 11 million jobs in healthcare by 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector rose from 15 to 20 million by 1980, but the graph shows it peaking earlier and declining by 1980. Additionally, the description of the retail and healthcare sectors is incomplete as it stops at the year 2000, failing to report the final data points for 2020. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that the entire time frame is covered.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'Subsequently', and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions between sentences. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus that connects naturally to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'significant decline', and 'respectively'. However, there are several word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'halft' instead of 'half', 'millon' instead of 'million', and 'it sector' instead of 'the sector'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on proofreading for spelling and ensuring that collocations are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'By year 1980' (missing 'the'), 'this figure did not stopped' (incorrect verb tense), and 'these two jobs sectors' (incorrect pluralisation). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and verb tenses in your descriptions of trends.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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