Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about jobs in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) in the USA between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the retail and healthcare sectors grew considerably while the manufacturing sector showed fluctuations. By contrast, the farming industry experienced a significant decline.
By the year 1980, the manufacturing industry produced a huge number of jobs, rose from 15 million employment opportunities to 20 million. Subsequently, it fell to 13 million jobs in 2020.
Farming industry dropped over the time. Initially, agriculture shared approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 which reduced to half by the year 2020.
On the other hand, retail and healthcare went up steadily. In 1960, retail produced 6 million jobs and healthcare generated 3 million and these figures rose significantly. By the year 1980, these two job sectors increased to 5 million and 10 million jobs respectively.
This figure did not stop here and grew to 16 millon jobs in both sectors by the end of the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have provided a clear overview and supported the key features with data from the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector rose to 20 million by 1980, but the graph shows the peak occurred earlier, and the 1980 figure is lower. Additionally, stating that retail and healthcare reached 16 million each by 2020 is a misinterpretation of the visual data. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are extracted with greater precision and that comparisons are more explicitly linked to the timeline provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'Subsequently', and 'On the other hand' to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the transition between sectors feels slightly abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between the sentences is more fluid, especially when contrasting the different economic sectors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main trends, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'significant decline', and 'steadily'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'produced a huge number of jobs' and 'shared approximately 6 million jobs', which sound slightly unnatural in an academic context. There is also a spelling error ('millon'). To achieve a higher score, aim for more precise academic collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is consistently accurate throughout the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'The graph illustrates the information about jobs' (the 'the' is unnecessary) and 'Farming industry dropped over the time' (missing articles). Some sentences are also slightly awkward, such as 'This figure did not stop here and grew to 16 millon jobs'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.