Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the information about jobs in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) in the USA between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the retail and healthcare sectors grew considerably while the manufacturing sector showed fluctuations. By contrast, the farming industry experienced a significant decline.
By the year 1980, the manufacturing industry produced a huge number of jobs, rose from 15 million employment opportunities to 20 million. Subsequently, it fell to 13 million jobs in 2020.
The farming industry dropped over the time. Initially, agriculture shared approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 which reduced to half by the year 2020.
On the other hand, retail and healthcare went up steadily. In 1960, retail produced 6 million jobs and healthcare generated 3 million and these figures rose significantly. By the year 1980, these two job sectors increased to 5 million and 10 million jobs respectively.
This figure did not stop here and grew to 16 million jobs in both sectors by the end of the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the data reporting is occasionally inaccurate. For instance, you state that agriculture 'reduced to half' by 2020, but the graph shows a more complex trend. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly confusing, as you mention it rose to 20 million by 1980, but the graph shows it peaking earlier. To improve, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that the chronological progression of the trends is clearly linked to the specific years provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. You use some cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'Subsequently', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the transition between the discussion of manufacturing and agriculture is a bit abrupt. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow could be improved by using more sophisticated linking phrases to connect the trends across the different time periods. Overall, the structure is coherent, and the progression of information is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'significant decline', and 'respectively'. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'produced a huge number of jobs' and 'shared approximately 6 million jobs', which sound slightly unnatural in this context. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision is sometimes lacking. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations related to economic data, such as 'employment figures' or 'job creation', and ensure that your terminology is consistently accurate throughout the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'The farming industry dropped over the time' (should be 'over time') and 'This figure did not stop here' (which is slightly informal). Some sentences, like 'In 1960, retail produced 6 million jobs and healthcare generated 3 million and these figures rose significantly', are a bit run-on and would benefit from better punctuation or splitting into two sentences. Despite these errors, your meaning is consistently clear, and the grammar does not impede communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.