Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the information about jobs in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) in the USA between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the retail and healthcare sectors grew considerably while the manufacturing sector showed fluctuations. By contrast, the farming industry experienced a significant decline.
By the year 1980, the manufacturing industry produced a huge number of jobs, rising from 15 million employment opportunities to 20 million. Subsequently, it fell to 13 million jobs in 2020.
The farming industry dropped over the time. Initially, agriculture produced approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 which reduced to half by the year 2020.
On the other hand, retail and healthcare went up steadily. In 1960, retail produced 6 million jobs and healthcare generated 3 million and these figures rose significantly. By the year 1980, these two job sectors increased to 5 million and 10 million jobs respectively.
This figure did not stop here and grew to 16 million jobs in both sectors by the end of the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have provided a clear overview and supported it with specific data points. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the farming industry reduced to half by 2020, but the graph shows a more gradual decline. Additionally, the description of the retail and healthcare sectors in 1980 is slightly confusing; the graph shows them at different levels, yet you group them together as reaching 5 and 10 million respectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are extracted with absolute precision and that comparisons between sectors are clearly delineated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'Subsequently', and 'On the other hand' to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother; some sentences feel slightly disjointed, particularly when moving between the different sectors. Using a wider variety of referencing pronouns or synonyms for 'jobs' and 'sectors' would help improve the flow and reduce the mechanical feel of the reporting.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'considerably', and 'generated'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'jobs' and 'sectors'. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more varied synonyms such as 'employment figures', 'workforce', 'positions', or 'industry segments'. There are no significant spelling errors, and the word choice is generally appropriate for an academic report, though it lacks the sophistication required for the higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'By the year 1980, the manufacturing industry produced a huge number of jobs, rising from...'. Most sentences are clear and easy to follow. There are some minor grammatical issues, such as 'The farming industry dropped over the time' (should be 'over time') and 'This figure did not stop here' (which is slightly informal). While your control of grammar is generally good, you should aim to incorporate more varied complex structures, such as passive voice or relative clauses, to demonstrate greater flexibility.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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