Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates the data regarding the number of employments in four sectors namely: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare in the Great Britain between year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the demand for employment in healthcare sector showed a significant change from year 1960 to 2020. Similar trend can be seen for the retail sector during the same period. Agriculture and manufacturing industries jobs started falling from year 1980 until 2020.

Jobs in healthcare sector rose dramatically in 1960 from half millions to about 15 millions until 2020, retails sector significantly inclined by 6 in year 1960 to 15 in year 2000 then remained almost constant for next 20 until 2020. Agriculture and manufacturing sectors started declining rapidly from 1980 to 2020. Number of jobs in manufacturing sector first inclined from 15 to 20 in 20 years before started falling until 2020 and agriculture sector kept falling from starting to end very slowly by years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task but contains significant factual inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. You identified the four sectors, but you incorrectly stated the location as 'Great Britain' instead of the 'US'. Furthermore, your description of the trends is often confusing or mathematically incorrect; for example, stating that healthcare rose from 'half millions' to '15 millions' is unclear, and your description of the retail sector's growth is difficult to follow. To improve, ensure you accurately transcribe the data provided in the graph and focus on clear, comparative reporting of the main features rather than listing figures in a way that obscures the overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by confusing sentence structures and imprecise referencing. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Overall' and 'Similar trend', the connections between sentences are often weak or mechanical. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that you use linking words more effectively to guide the reader through the data comparisons, rather than simply listing observations.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'showed a significant change' and 'inclined', which are sometimes used incorrectly in context (e.g., 'inclined by 6'). There are also issues with word choice, such as 'number of employments' (employment is usually uncountable) and 'half millions'. To improve, focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'a steady decline', and ensure you are using collocations correctly to describe statistical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in healthcare sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('in year 1960'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('retail sector... inclined'). Additionally, some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'remained almost constant for next 20 until 2020'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the use of articles and prepositions when discussing time periods and data points, and proofread to ensure subject-verb consistency.

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