Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates information about the jobs in four sectors of the economy about us between in 1960 and 2020.It compares the data across different category over the given period.
Overall, it is readily apparent that several noticeable changes can be observed in the given data while some categories showed on upward trend, others experienced a decline or remained relatively stable.
At the first glance, it can be clearly seen that the jobs in millions and different year. Accounted for approximately in 1960 which have a 0 to 15 percent jobs available in 1960 is that healthcare at the beginning of the period.Thereafter, the figure decreased gradually before reaching around 5 percent jobs in 1980 by the end of the period.In comparison the given years followed a opposite trend throughout the given years.
Turning to the remaining category, started at nearly in 2000 retail which is approximately 15 percent jobs available and experienced a several fluctuations during the period. afterwards, the figure fell slightly before ending at approximately in 2020 is that manufacturing which almost 15 percent to fell workers in 2020 overall, this category displayed a different pattern compared with the others
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately report the data presented in the graph. The student mentions 'healthcare' and 'manufacturing' without clear reference to the actual trends or specific data points provided in the source image. The description of the trends is confusing and lacks precision, often citing incorrect figures or failing to identify the sectors correctly. The overview is vague and does not highlight the key features of the graph, such as the significant growth or decline of specific sectors over the 60-year period. Consequently, the information provided is largely inaccurate and does not effectively summarise the main features as required by the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The response is difficult to follow due to a lack of logical progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed and often contradictory. Cohesive devices are used ineffectively; for example, 'At the first glance' and 'Turning to the remaining category' are used, but they do not lead into coherent descriptions of the data. The referencing is unclear, making it difficult for the reader to understand which sector or trend is being discussed. The overall structure is mechanical and fails to guide the reader through the information.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often misused, which significantly impedes communication. Phrases like 'jobs in millions and different year' and '15 percent to fell workers' are grammatically and semantically incorrect. There is a lack of precise terminology related to describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuations', 'upward trend', 'decline'), and the student struggles to use appropriate collocations. The repetition of basic words and the inability to accurately describe the data points indicate a restricted range of vocabulary that is insufficient for an Academic Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure meaning. Sentence structures are frequently fragmented or run-on, such as 'Accounted for approximately in 1960 which have a 0 to 15 percent jobs available in 1960 is that healthcare at the beginning of the period.' There is a lack of control over basic syntax, subject-verb agreement, and prepositional usage. Complex structures are attempted but are almost always faulty, leading to confusion. The high frequency of errors in basic grammar significantly hinders the clarity of the report.
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