Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates how the number of jobs, in millions, had changed in four economic sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the job numbers in manufacturing and healthcare sectors declined over the time, while there numbers in retail and agriculture increased substantially.
The number of jobs in the US decreased in manufacturing. In 1960, there was 15 million jobs available in this sector before increasing markedly to reach 20 million twenty-year later, followed by a steadily fall in numbers of jobs to about 13 million in 2020, ranking third after it was the first highest in 1960. A similar trend was observed with healthcare sector, where the employment availability started to drop from approximately 6 million in 1960 to around 3 million in 1980, this figure remained stable around this number until experienced a slight decrease to about2 million in 2020, registering the least number of jobs in in the US.
By contrast, the employment numbers for retail and agriculture recorded a significant rise throught the period. In 1960, around 6 million jobs was available in the US, and this figure continued to climb sharply to reach 15 million in 2000 before reching roughly 16 million in 2020, as a result of this growth in numbers, the
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but it is incomplete as the final sentence is cut off mid-thought. While you identify the trends for the four sectors, the analysis of the final two sectors is unfinished, which prevents a full overview. You successfully highlight the key shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and the rise in retail and agriculture. To improve, ensure you complete your sentences and provide a more balanced summary of all data points. The overview is present but lacks the depth required for a higher band, as the incomplete ending leaves the task partially unaddressed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'By contrast' and 'In 1960' to link ideas. However, the flow is disrupted by the incomplete final sentence, which leaves the reader hanging. Additionally, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'ranking third after it was the first highest'. Improving the logical flow between sentences and ensuring all thoughts are fully concluded will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'substantially', and 'markedly'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'there numbers' (instead of 'their numbers'), 'steadily fall' (instead of 'steady fall'), and 'the least number of jobs' (instead of 'the lowest number'). These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a need for more precision. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and focusing on correct word forms will help you reach a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'there was 15 million jobs' (should be 'there were') and '6 million jobs was available' (should be 'were'). Punctuation and spelling errors, such as 'throught' and 'reching', are also present. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for spelling will improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.