Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The information provided in the given bar chart compares the figure of vacancies in four different sectors of the United State's economy, throughout the past 65-years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is quite evident from the bar graph, that the healthcare sector shows a significant upward trend over the entire period of time, followed by the retail sector which is also have a dramatic increase over the period.

Initially in 1960, the number of new vacancies offer in the manufacturing sector is substantially popular at 15 million, which gradually increased up to 20 million at 1980, this is the peak level of all the jobs sectors, and then dramatically declined over the remaining year up to 18 million at the end of period. Similarly, Healthcare has started from 3 million in 1960, while consistently showing the upward trends over the following decades, and end with 16 million.

Meanwhile, both retail and agriculture initiate from the same point at 6 million, whereas the retail has significantly risen throughout the upcoming years, and end with the similar figure of healthcare at 16 million. While the agriculture has gradually reduced over the next years and finally end with 4 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting that retail and agriculture started at the same point. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, you state the manufacturing sector peaked at 20 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier. Additionally, the description of the timeline as '65-years' is incorrect given the 1960-2020 range. To reach a higher band, ensure your data extraction is precise and your introductory summary accurately reflects the timeframe provided in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. You use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'Similarly', and 'whereas' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'remaining year' which does not accurately describe the period from 1980 to 2020. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to create a more natural progression of ideas would strengthen this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significant upward trend', 'dramatically declined', and 'vacancies'. However, there are some word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'vacancies offer' (should be 'vacancies offered') and 'substantially popular' (which is not the correct way to describe a numerical figure). To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your word forms are accurate. Expanding your range to include more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'which is also have a dramatic increase' (subject-verb agreement/tense error), 'at 1980' (preposition error; should be 'in 1980'), and 'end with the similar figure of healthcare' (should be 'similar to that of healthcare'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and consistent verb tense when describing historical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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