Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing provided most of the jobs at the beginning of the period, which was eventually surpassed by the retail and healthcare sectors.
Among the four different sectors healthcare and manufacturing witnessed an decreased in jobs, while the others observed a upward trend.
A detailed analysis of the line graph reveals that the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector increased significantly from 15 million to 20 million during 1960 to 2020, this figure dropped back moderately to 13 million jobs in 2020. On the other hand there was a dramatic incline in the number of jobs in the retail healthcare from 3 million jobs to 15 million jobs in the same period.
In 1960, both the retail and agriculture had an equal number of jobs 7 million. Number of jobs in retail sectors witnessed a sharp rise, reaching 15 million jobs in 2020. By contrast, the number of jobs in agricultural sector declined significantly to 3 million jobs during the same period. In spite of fluctuations in the middle years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing increased from 15 to 20 million, whereas the graph shows a different trend. Furthermore, you mention 'retail healthcare' as a single sector, which misinterprets the provided data categories. While you attempt to identify trends, the lack of precision in describing the figures and the misidentification of sectors hinder the clarity of the report. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the actual data points provided in the graph to avoid factual errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly confusing, such as the sentence fragment 'In spite of fluctuations in the middle years.' which lacks a main clause. While there is a clear overall progression, the transition between ideas could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by the inaccuracies in the data reporting mentioned previously.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surpassed', 'dramatic incline', and 'fluctuations'. However, there are some word choice errors, such as 'witnessed an decreased' (should be 'decrease') and 'observed a upward trend' (should be 'an upward trend'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and ensuring that your word forms (nouns vs. adjectives) are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'witnessed an decreased', 'observed a upward trend', and the comma splice '...during 1960 to 2020, this figure dropped...'. Additionally, there are issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence boundary punctuation would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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