Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate the amount of jobs in four different firms of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020. Healthcare and retail gain much lead till 2020, whereas manufacturing was at lead first, but missed its hype.
In 1990, manufacturing was substantially growing and had 15 millions jobs. However, in retail and agriculture sectors around 6 millions jobs were available, healthcare was the least priority, nearly 2 millions.
Nevertheless, manufacturing reached to its peak that is 20 millions, but slightly plummeted till 2020. In contrast, the gradual rise trend have been seen in retail and healthcare sector and become leading jobs around 16 million. On the other hand, agriculture sector lose the number of jobs, and become least priority reached nearly 2 millions.
Overall, drop can be seen in manufacturing jobs till the end, while retail and healthcare jobs become more prior in US with the passage of time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, you mention 15 million jobs in 1990 for manufacturing, but the graph shows this figure closer to 1960. Additionally, the description of the trends is somewhat vague, using informal language like 'missed its hype' and 'least priority'. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are accurately extracted and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant shifts over the entire period rather than focusing on isolated years.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Nevertheless', and 'In contrast' to link ideas. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the progression of ideas could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'much lead', 'least priority', and 'gradual rise trend'. There are also some word choice errors, such as 'firms' instead of 'sectors' and 'lose the number of jobs' instead of 'experienced a decline'. To improve, incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant downturn'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have several subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'The line graph illustrate' (should be 'illustrates') and 'the gradual rise trend have been seen' (should be 'has been seen'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'reached to its peak' (should be 'reached its peak'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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