Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates jobs available in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) in America between 1960 and 2020. Units are measured in millions.
Overall, jobs in healthcare and retail sector significantly increased throughout the period. At the start of the period, manufacturing was the most popular job. However, agricultural jobs accounted for the lowest figure in the end.
In 1960, 15 million workers recorded for the manufacturing field, highest in the year, while figure remained same for retail and healthcare jobs just over 5 million, the agriculture sector accounted roughly 3 million jobs. Furthermore, jobs in manufacturing reached the peak at 20 million jobs, while the retail and healthcare grew simultaneously at 10 million and 5 million respectively. However, jobs in agriculture fell dramatically around 3.5 million in 1980.
Manufacturing field jobs accounted for a sharp decline in 2000 with around 16 million. In contrast, retail touched 15 million jobs and just above 10 million in healthcare. Agriculture jobs remained similar over two decades and accounted for the lowest figure in 2020 just below 2 million. However, healthcare and retail marked the highest figure just above 15 million and number of jobs in manufacturing fell around 13 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state manufacturing peaked at 20 million, but the graph shows it peaking closer to 18 million. Additionally, the description of the 1980 data is confusing, as you mention a dramatic fall to 3.5 million for agriculture, which is not clearly supported by the visual trend. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. Ensure that figures are read carefully from the axes to support your analysis effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping information more logically (e.g., grouping the rising sectors together vs. the declining ones). Some transitions feel forced, and the referencing of data points occasionally lacks clarity, making it slightly difficult to follow the progression of the trends over the sixty-year period.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'accounted for', and 'dramatically'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'recorded for the manufacturing field' and 'retail and healthcare grew simultaneously'. These phrasing issues slightly hinder the natural flow of the text. To improve, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'a steady upward trajectory', rather than relying on repetitive structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'figure remained same for retail', 'reached the peak at 20 million jobs', and 'jobs in agriculture fell dramatically around 3.5 million'. These errors involve missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and awkward sentence construction. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles (e.g., 'the' manufacturing sector).
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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