Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph shows given four different year in four sectors of the economy in the US.
Manufacturing jobs was 15 millions in year 1960 and than increase 20 millions in year 1980 and than decrease 17 millions in year 2000 and 12 millions in year 2020. Retail and Healthcare jobs was same in year 1960 was 6 millions .Retail jobs was increase 10 millions in year 1980 and 15 millions in year 2000 and than year 2020 was 16 millions. Healthcare jobs decrease 4 millions year 1980 and 2000 and than 1millions decrease in year 2020 compere to year 1980 and 2000.
Agriculture jobs was 3 millions in year 960 than increase 5 millions in year 1980 .15 millions Agriculture jobs in year 2000 .Retail and Agriculture was same in year 2020 was 16 millions.
Overall, Highest jobs economy was Manufacturing and lowest jobs economy was Agriculture.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the four sectors and provided some data points, the reporting is mechanical and lacks a clear overview of the main trends. The summary is underdeveloped, and the comparison between sectors is inconsistent. For instance, you mention that 'Retail and Healthcare jobs was same in year 1960', but the data interpretation is often confusing or inaccurate. To improve, ensure you group information logically rather than listing data point by point, and provide a more comprehensive summary of the overall trends (e.g., the long-term decline of one sector versus the growth of others).
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. The paragraphs are not well-defined, and the progression of ideas is disjointed. You rely heavily on simple, repetitive sentence structures ('...was... in year...') which makes the flow mechanical. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas or show relationships between the data points. To improve, use transition words such as 'conversely', 'meanwhile', or 'in contrast' to connect your sentences. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors with similar trends, rather than jumping between different sectors and years in a single paragraph.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You frequently use the same basic verbs ('increase', 'decrease') and nouns ('jobs', 'year'). There is little evidence of the range required for higher bands, such as synonyms or more precise terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable'). Spelling errors, such as 'compere' instead of 'compare', and grammatical errors in word choice also hinder the clarity of the report. To improve, focus on learning collocations for describing graphs, such as 'witnessed a steady growth' or 'experienced a significant decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including subject-verb agreement ('Manufacturing jobs was', 'Retail jobs was increase') and missing articles ('in year 1960' instead of 'in the year 1960'). The sentence structures are almost exclusively simple, with no attempt at complex sentences. This lack of variety and the high frequency of errors significantly impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles. Practice combining simple sentences into complex ones using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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