Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph below illustrate about the sum of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is clearly seen that before jobs opportunity was more in manufacturing that decrease in the end. On the other hand, in the health care their was a less jobs before that rose in the last.
After analysing the graph, it is obvious that the in the year 1960 the number of jobs in manufacturing was around 15 million that rise in next 20 years but after that it kept falling and in 2020 it only remain around 12.5 million.
Next, Agriculture sector used to have a job of 6 million that falls into only 2 million.
Turning toward the remaining job sectors, firstly, retail market was have above 5M of jobs that rise in 2020 about above 15M. In last, the healthcare use to have job of only below 5M that rise in 2020 up to 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors, which is a positive start. However, the response lacks precision in reporting data. For example, you mention 'around 15 million' for manufacturing in 1960, but the graph shows a different starting point. Furthermore, the description of the trends is somewhat repetitive and lacks a clear, analytical comparison between the sectors. To improve, ensure you accurately extract data points from the graph and group the information more logically—perhaps by comparing the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) against the growing ones (retail and healthcare) to provide a more cohesive overview.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'Next,' 'Turning toward,' and 'In last' are used to transition between ideas, but they feel repetitive and basic. The logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs. To achieve a higher band, try to vary your linking words and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next, rather than simply listing the sectors one by one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'jobs' and 'rise' or 'falls' to describe trends. There is little evidence of less common vocabulary or precise collocations. For instance, instead of saying 'jobs opportunity was more', you could use 'employment levels were higher'. Additionally, there are some errors in word choice, such as 'retail market was have' and 'in the last', which slightly hinder the natural flow of the text. Expanding your range of synonyms for trends and economic sectors will help improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the line graph below illustrate', 'there was a less jobs') and incorrect verb tenses ('use to have', 'was have'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data. Reducing these frequent errors will significantly improve the clarity and professional tone of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.