Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph below illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is clearly seen that initially, the number of job opportunities was higher more in manufacturing which decrease in the end. On the other hand, in the healthcare there were fewer jobs before that rose in the last.
After analysing the bar graph, it is obvious that in the year 1960 the number of jobs in manufacturing was around 15 million that rose in the next 20 years not after that it kept falling and in 2020 it only remained 12.5 million. Next, the agricultural sector used to have around 6 million jobs, which fell to only 2 million.
Turning toward the remaining sectors, firstly, the retail market has just over 5 million jobs, which rose to just above 15 million in 2020. Lastly, the healthcare used to have just below 5 million jobs, which rose to 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons between the start and end points. However, the report lacks precision in some areas; for example, describing the manufacturing trend as 'not after that it kept falling' is grammatically unclear and imprecise. Additionally, while you mention the 1960 and 2020 figures, the 'main features' could be better highlighted by noting the crossover points or the specific rates of change. To reach a higher band, ensure that all descriptions of data points are accurate and clearly linked to the timeline provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Looking from an overall perspective', 'On the other hand', and 'Turning toward the remaining sectors' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'not after that it kept falling'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly rather than relying on simple chronological listing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'opportunities', and 'sectors'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'rose in the last' (should be 'rose in the latter period') and 'remained 12.5 million' (should be 'stood at 12.5 million'). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the sophistication or precision required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise verbs for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined steadily', and ensure collocations are natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'was higher more in manufacturing which decrease in the end' (should be 'was higher in manufacturing, which decreased') and 'the healthcare used to have' (should be 'the healthcare sector had'). There are also issues with article usage and tense consistency. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that relative clauses are correctly constructed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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