Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph provides information related to the four different types of jobs of the economy in the united states in between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clearly seen that healthcare and retail field had increased over the period of time, Besides, agriculture showed decreased trend.Moreover, manufacturing was highest at the beginning but started decreasing over the period of time.

Healthcare was last choice of us citizens in the job market but increased significantly from 1960 to 2020 as it accounted for 10 millions to 15 millions jobs in 1960 and 2020 respectively and acquired the top choice in the job market. Moreover, retail had gained second position in the chosen job market. It was only 6 million in 1960 and gained popularity

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified some main trends, the analysis is incomplete. You have not provided data for all four sectors, and the description of the trends is underdeveloped. For instance, you mention manufacturing decreased but do not provide any specific figures or comparative analysis to support this. To improve, ensure you cover all categories presented in the graph and provide a more comprehensive summary that includes specific data points and clear comparisons between the sectors throughout the entire 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'Moreover'. Some sentences lack logical flow, making the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs feel abrupt. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. Additionally, ensure that your overview provides a more cohesive summary of the main trends rather than just listing them.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'last choice of us citizens' and 'gained second position in the chosen job market', which sound unnatural. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surpassed', and ensure your collocations are accurate. Focus on using precise terminology to describe economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('the' economy), incorrect preposition usage ('in between 1960 to 2020'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('healthcare and retail field had increased'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and incorrect capitalisation. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic errors such as pluralisation and article usage. Aim to vary your sentence structures by using more complex clauses, but ensure they are grammatically accurate to avoid impeding the reader's understanding.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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