Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Grammar: 9

Punctuation: 3

The given line graph provides information related to the four different types of jobs of the united states in between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clearly seen that healthcare and retail field had increased over the period of time, Besides, agriculture showed decreased trend.Moreover, manufacturing was highest at the beginning but started decreasing over the period of time.

Healthcare was last choice of us citizens in the job market but increased significantly from 1960 to 2020 as it accounted for 10 millions to 15 millions jobs in 1960 and 2020 respectively and acquired the top choice in the job market. Moreover, retail had gained second position in the chosen job market. It was only 6 million in 1960 and gained popularity over the years and stood at 15 million jobs in 2020 same as healthcare department.

In contrary, Jobs in manufacturing was a top choice for the US people to worked in. It was 15 million in the year 1960 and increased more 5 millions in 1980 , after that it started to fell gradually and stood at approximately 12 million jobs in 2020. On the other hand, agriculture was last in the list of all other sectors which contributed of the economy of the United States which was accounted for 6 millions in 1960 and decreased afterward and stood at 1 million jobs only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state healthcare increased from 10 to 15 million, but the graph shows it starting much lower, around 2-3 million. Similarly, you claim manufacturing was 15 million in 1960, whereas the graph indicates it was closer to 17-18 million. These inaccuracies mean the information is not fully accurate or well-supported. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the axes and data points before writing. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in reporting the figures prevents a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'In contrary', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'In contrary' (should be 'In contrast'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally repetitive. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used with greater precision would enhance the flow of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'job market', 'contributed', and 'popularity'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'healthcare was last choice of us citizens' and 'increased more 5 millions'. Some phrasing is also repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'jobs in'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive sentence structures. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'Jobs in manufacturing was a top choice' (subject-verb agreement), 'to worked in' (incorrect verb form), and 'contributed of the economy' (preposition error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capitalisation for 'US' and 'United States' in some instances, and awkward spacing. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms after infinitives.

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