Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph tracks the number of job opportunities in four different sector of the economy that include manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in United states between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector saw an overhaul from being the highest to diminishing in the further years whereas, Healthcare sector experienced an exponential surge in jobs.

Amongst all the four sectors, manufacturing sector offered the highest number of jobs starting from 15 million jobs in 1960 to declining 13 million by 2020 and it saw its peak in 1980 with 20 million jobs. Furthermore, retail sector was the second highest which saw a surge in jobs starting from 1960 with approximately 6 million jobs to approximately 15 million by 2020 however, Agriculture sector experienced a decline which was initially more in 1960 was further diminished in 2020 by approximately 2 million. Healthcare sector in 1960 was the lowest in number of jobs however, it surged and was same as retail sector in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the crossover between retail and healthcare by 2020. However, some data points are slightly inaccurate or vague; for instance, stating manufacturing declined to 13 million by 2020 is a bit imprecise based on typical graph interpretations, and the description of agriculture is slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that all figures are cited with greater precision and that the comparison between sectors is more explicitly linked to the timeline provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. You use some cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'furthermore', and 'however' to link ideas. However, the flow within the body paragraph is somewhat mechanical. The transition between the manufacturing and retail sectors could be smoother. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence regarding agriculture, where the comparison to 1960 is slightly muddled. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each sentence follows logically from the previous one would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'exponential surge', 'diminishing', and 'opportunities'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'saw an overhaul' is not the most appropriate term for a decline in numbers, and 'was initially more in 1960' is awkward phrasing. You also have minor errors in article usage, such as 'in United states' instead of 'in the United States'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure you are using the correct articles for geographical regions and sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'four different sector' (should be plural 'sectors') and 'was same as' (missing the article 'the'). Additionally, some sentences are slightly run-on, which affects the clarity of your comparisons. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they occur frequently enough to limit your score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will help you achieve a higher band in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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