Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in different sectors: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US from the year 1960 to 2020.

From an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that job vacancies in the manufacturing sector experienced a dramatic decline, whereas the retail and healthcare fields witnessed a considerable growth.

In 1960, manufacturing was the most demanding field, accounted for 15 million jobs, which is far more than other three categories- retails and agriculture reported 5 million jobs each and healthcare department provided nearly 2 million jobs. The number of jobs in the manufacturing sector incresed to 20 million in 1980, before falling to approximately 12 million at the end of time period.

Regarding the healthcare sector, the figure for job prospects rose steadily from 2 million to 15 million. Lastly, the retail and agriculture categories showed the opposite graph. The numbers of job in Agriculture department decreased from 5 million to almost 1-3 million, while for retail it climbed to 15 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the contrast between the declining manufacturing sector and the growth in healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you stated that manufacturing fell to 12 million at the end of the period, but the graph shows it closer to 10 million. Additionally, you mentioned retail and agriculture showed the 'opposite graph', which is slightly confusing as they both trended downwards or upwards differently. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read with greater precision and that comparisons are explicitly linked to the years provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. You used some cohesive devices like 'From an overall perspective', 'Regarding', and 'Lastly' to structure the response. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother. For example, the final paragraph could be better integrated by using more sophisticated comparative language rather than simply listing the trends for each sector separately.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main features of the graph, using terms like 'dramatic decline', 'considerable growth', and 'job prospects'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'most demanding field' (which is not the correct term for a graph about job numbers) and 'opposite graph'. Additionally, there is a spelling error ('incresed'). While these errors do not impede communication, you need to use more precise terminology related to data description (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable') to demonstrate a wider and more flexible range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'accounted for' (should be 'accounting for' or 'which accounted for') and 'other three categories- retails and agriculture' (punctuation and article usage). There are also minor errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. Despite these errors, your meaning is consistently clear, and the grammar does not hinder the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on refining your use of relative clauses and ensuring consistent verb tense usage when describing past trends.

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