Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The data compares the information about the proportion of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
At a glance, it is clear that the employment opportunities in the retail and healthcare sector increased significantly, while job opportunities in manufacturing and agriculture sector plummeted considerably over the given period.
Looking at the line graph in detail, in 1960 manufacturing sectors in US dominated the other sector in a huge margin. They were accounted for 15% of the total job percentage. Other sectors, such as retail, agriculture and healthcare contributed roughly 6%, 6%, and 3%, respectively.
Regarding other information, the curve of manufacturing industries experienced a fluctuation at 20% in 1980, before finished at nearly 13% at the end. The share of agriculture sector dropped gradually at 3% by 2020. However, the retail and healthcare sector saw a sharp growth overall, both finished at 16% of total job in 2020, which ultimately caused the domination over other groups at the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail/healthcare and the decline in manufacturing/agriculture. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state manufacturing accounted for 15% in 1960, whereas the graph shows a much higher figure (around 25%). Additionally, the description of the manufacturing trend as 'fluctuating at 20% in 1980' is imprecise. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the figures cited align more accurately with the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from a general summary to specific details. Cohesive devices such as 'At a glance', 'Looking at the line graph in detail', and 'Regarding other information' are used to structure the response. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing of data points could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure effectively guides the reader through the information presented in the graph.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'plummeted', 'dominated', 'fluctuation', and 'sharp growth'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'finished at' (better: 'ended at' or 'concluded at') and 'accounted for 15% of the total job percentage' (redundant). While the vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows for some precision, it lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on more precise collocations for describing trends will enhance your lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing sectors in US dominated the other sector in a huge margin' (missing articles and incorrect preposition usage) and 'before finished at' (incorrect verb form). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and ensuring that verb tenses are consistent when describing past trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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