Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph demostrates the data related to the availablility of jobs in various sectors of US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the retail and healthcare industry shows the constant upward trend in comparison to other two industries.Manufacturing industry had a upward trend from 1960 to 1980 followed by a decline afterwards and number of jobs in agriculture industry remained constant.
Healthcare industry showed dominance overall because in 1960 total number of available jobs were around 2 to 3 millions and it surges to over 15 million in 2020.Second dominant industry was Retail.It shows drastic upward trend from 1960 to 2000 and remains pretty constant afterall.Starting number of jobs war around 5 millions and surges upto 15 millions in the year 2020.
The least amount of jobs were in Agriculture industry which was about 5 millions in 1960 but falls to 2 millions in 2020.The most amount of avaiable jobs were in manufacturing industry around 15 millions in 1960 and goes upto 20 millions in 1980 but after that it follows a decline and the number drops below 15 millions in year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the dominance of healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in your data reporting; for instance, you stated that agriculture remained constant, whereas the graph shows a clear downward trend. Additionally, your description of the manufacturing sector's peak is slightly imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that your overview highlights the most significant shifts rather than just listing individual trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. The progression of ideas is generally clear. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition between sentences often relies on simple subject-verb structures rather than varied linking words. Furthermore, there are some punctuation issues, such as missing spaces after periods (e.g., 'industry.Second', 'Retail.It'), which disrupts the flow of the text. Improving the variety of cohesive devices would enhance the overall readability.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'dominance', 'drastic upward trend', and 'decline'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor spelling errors, such as 'demostrates' instead of 'demonstrates' and 'availablility'. Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'remains pretty constant afterall'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure you proofread for basic spelling and typographical errors, as these distract from the professional tone required for an Academic Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding articles (e.g., 'in agriculture industry' should be 'in the agriculture industry') and verb tense consistency. You also have issues with subject-verb agreement and pluralization, such as 'other two industries' and 'most amount of avaiable jobs'. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and consistent verb tenses will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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