Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, Healthcare and Retail jobs proportion experienced a significant growth and became dominant at the end of period while, Manufacturing and Agriculture experienced a considerable drop and Agriculture accounted for the lowest jobs proportion.
Turning to Healthcare and Retail had the lowest number of job in 1960 with 3% and around 5% jobs and rose dramatically
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the 150-word minimum requirement, which severely impacts the task achievement. Because the essay is incomplete, it fails to report on all four sectors or provide a comprehensive summary of the main features. The overview is present but lacks the necessary detail to fully address the prompt. To improve, you must ensure you cover all data points provided in the graph and expand your analysis to meet the word count, ensuring a thorough comparison of the trends across the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure due to its incomplete nature. While there is an attempt at an introduction and an overview, the body paragraph is cut off abruptly, preventing the development of a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal, and the lack of paragraphing makes the text difficult to follow. To improve, ensure you have a clear introduction, a distinct overview, and at least two body paragraphs that group information logically, using linking words like 'in contrast' or 'meanwhile' to connect your points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'experienced a significant growth' and 'experienced a considerable drop' are functional but limited. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'jobs proportion' instead of 'proportion of jobs'. To achieve a higher band, you should aim for a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure accurate collocations when describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are several grammatical errors that hinder the flow of the text. For example, 'The line graph illustrate' should be 'The line graph illustrates' (subject-verb agreement), and 'Turning to Healthcare and Retail had' is grammatically incorrect as it lacks a proper subject for the verb. The sentence structures are simple and the incomplete nature of the response limits the range of grammatical structures demonstrated. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and using more complex sentence structures to describe trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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