Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph illustrates the figuers of jobs available in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the healthcare sector experienced an upward trend, while agriculture followed the opposite pattern.Manufacturing sector recored highest figure at beginning of the period , whereas, retail sector showed the steadily increment.
In the year 1960, manufacture stood at highest number at 15, followed by retails and agriculture at aroung 6 each.Meanwhile, healthcare showed lowest velue approximately at 3.In 1980,al three secors namely, manufraturing, retail,and healthcare rose gradually at 20,10 and 5, correspondingly.
From 2000 onwards,manufacturing secor remained at highest at nearly 16,followed by retail and agriculture sectors.At the lower end of the scale, agriculture depicted least at almost 3 till year 2020.Consiquently, healthcare and reatil sectors represented increment at 15 each. the manufacturing and agriculture faced gradual downfall, althogh manufecturing secor remarked bigger value than healthcare sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends and making comparisons. However, the analysis is marred by significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, stating that manufacturing remained at 16 from 2000 onwards contradicts the visual data, which shows a clear decline. Furthermore, the description of the 1960 data is imprecise, and the summary of the final years is confusing and factually inconsistent with the provided graph. While the overview attempts to highlight key trends, the lack of precision in reporting the data prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the data points cited accurately reflect the graph's visual information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'meanwhile', 'consequently', and 'whereas'. However, the flow of ideas is often disjointed due to poor sentence structure and confusing logical progression. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between the description of different time periods feels mechanical rather than fluid. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary cohesion to guide the reader effectively through the data. Improving the use of linking phrases and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors such as 'figuers', 'recored', 'velue', 'secors', 'manufraturing', 'reatil', and 'Consiquently'. These errors occasionally make the text difficult to read. While the student attempts to use sector-specific terminology like 'manufacturing' and 'healthcare', the range is narrow. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or sophisticated collocations. To reach a higher band, the student must focus on accurate spelling and expanding their range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as using more precise verbs and adverbs to characterize the movement of the lines on the graph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including missing articles ('at beginning of the period'), incorrect verb forms ('retail sector showed the steadily increment'), and punctuation issues. Sentence structures are generally simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors that impede clarity, such as 'al three secors namely, manufraturing, retail,and healthcare rose gradually at 20,10 and 5, correspondingly.' The lack of control over basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement and word order, is a recurring issue. A greater focus on proofreading and mastering basic sentence construction is essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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