Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided linear representation demonstrates the employment rate in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sector from 1960 and 2020.

To begin with, Manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs, accounting for 15 millions in 1960. However, this figure reached its peak at 20 millions during 1980 before dropping significantly to 13 millions only in the last year. By contrast, the least number of jobs were found in healthcare sector with even less than 5 millions in 1960 but this number began rising sharply after every 20 years until it climbed to 15 millions in 2020.

Moving further, while the employment rate in Retail experienced a considerable growth from 6 millions in 1960 to 15 millions in 2020, the number of jobs in Agricultural department went down. The count started falling from 6 millions and remained only 2 millions in 2020.

Overall, the employment rate was the highest in Manufacturing in former year , its position was overtaken by retail and healthcare sector, later. Notably, Agriculture gave jobs to very few people throughout the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the peak for manufacturing and the contrasting trends for healthcare and agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you stated that manufacturing's position was overtaken by retail and healthcare, but the graph shows retail and healthcare reaching 15 million, which is higher than manufacturing's final figure of 13 million, but the phrasing 'former year' is vague and the summary could be more precise regarding the final rankings. Overall, the main trends are clearly reported and supported by data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'By contrast', 'Moving further', and 'Overall' to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing in the final paragraph ('former year') is a bit unclear. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'linear representation', 'accounting for', and 'experienced a considerable growth' are used effectively. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'Agricultural department' (should be 'sector') and '13 millions' (should be '13 million' as 'million' is not pluralized when preceded by a number). While you attempt some less common vocabulary, the range is adequate rather than wide, and these minor inaccuracies do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with article usage ('the Manufacturing sector', 'the healthcare sector') and pluralization ('15 millions' should be '15 million'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the space before the comma in 'former year ,'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the reader's understanding of the data. To reach a higher band, focus on consistent article usage and ensuring that numbers are expressed correctly in academic writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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