Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrate the number of job in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, Employment for manufacturing sector performing well from the start, Available jobs in the market is about 15 million approx. In contrast, if we see the Sales and Healthcare sector they employment progress fluctuated by the time and rises significantly by the passing each decades, Only the agriculture sector starts from 6 million jobs approx and seems consistent declining by the past each years and end up almost the half from it's starting point which is approx 2.5 million employment.
In the Summary, Manufacturing sector among the all the sectors perform well in compare to other sectors and reached the peak numbers of his employment to 20 million in 1980 and after that facing a slightly decline in the end of the 2020. However other retail and healthcare perform quit well from their starting point and shows a significant growth of 15 million jobs at the end of 2020. Agriculture sector keep struggling from his starting point and keep declines by each decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in sales and healthcare. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating 'about 15 million approx' is redundant and imprecise. The description of the manufacturing sector's peak in 1980 is accurate, but the overall analysis lacks a clear, comparative overview that synthesizes the data effectively. The response tends to describe each sector in isolation rather than making meaningful comparisons between them, which limits the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive transitions. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'In the Summary' to start the final paragraph, which is not appropriate for an academic report. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the referencing (e.g., 'his employment') is confusing as it attributes human characteristics to economic sectors. While the overall structure is present, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the text feel fragmented.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'perform well' and 'significant growth'. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'employment progress fluctuated by the time' and 'consistent declining'. The student struggles with word forms, using 'declines' as a noun and 'declining' incorrectly. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with the precision required for an Academic Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph illustrate', 'sector starts... and seems consistent declining') and article usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with run-on sentences and incorrect comma usage. While the reader can understand the intended meaning, the high frequency of basic grammatical errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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