Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart compares the number of jobs in four sectors - Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare - of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.

Overall, both retail and healthcare accounted for the highest proportion, whereas agriculture recorded the lowest figure at the end of the period.

In terms of manufacturing jobs, it started rising from 15 million at the beginning, and it showed a modest rise, with 20 million, before declining to around 13 million at the end of the period. However, The figure for retail commenced from just over 5 million, while it experienced a soar and reached its peak, at nearly 16 million.

Regarding agriculture, although it started from just over 5 million like retail job, it showed a downward trend. From 1980 to 2020, it levelled off around 3 million. By contrast, while healthcare started at the lowest level, with only 3 million, it escalated substantially and reached its top, at 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have provided a clear overview and selected key data points to support your descriptions. However, the task achievement is slightly limited by the lack of comparative analysis. While you mention that retail and healthcare reached similar peaks, you could have more explicitly compared the relative growth rates or the specific points where sectors crossed each other. The description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the data points provided in the graph, which impacts the precision of your reporting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In terms of', 'However', and 'By contrast' to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, although some transitions between sentences within paragraphs could be more sophisticated to improve the flow. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'accounted for', 'downward trend', 'levelled off', and 'escalated substantially'. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'experienced a soar', which is not a standard collocation. Using 'soar' as a noun in this context is awkward. Additionally, 'reached its top' is slightly informal; 'reached a peak' or 'peaked' would be more appropriate for an academic report. Despite these minor inaccuracies, the vocabulary is adequate for the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'while healthcare started at the lowest level... it escalated substantially'. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'it started from just over 5 million like retail job', where 'job' should be plural or omitted, and 'The figure for retail commenced', where the capitalization of 'The' is incorrect. While these errors are present, they do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, ensure greater consistency in subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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