Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart compares the number of jobs in four sectors - Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare - of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.
Overall, both retail and healthcare accounted for the highest proportion, whereas agriculture recorded the lowest figure at the end of the period.
In terms of manufacturing jobs, it started rising from 15 million at the beginning, and it showed a modest rise, with 20 million, before declining to around 13 million at the end of the period. However, The figure for retail commenced from just over 5 million, while it experienced a soar and reached its peak, at nearly 16 million.
Regarding agriculture, although it started from just over 5 million like retail job, it showed a downward trend. From 1980 to 2020, it levelled off around 3 million. By contrast, while healthcare started at the lowest level, with only 3 million, it escalated substantially and reached its top, at 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main features of the graph and provided a clear overview. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the contrast between the downward trend in agriculture and the substantial growth in healthcare. However, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate; you stated it reached 20 million, but the graph shows it peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining. Additionally, the phrasing 'it showed a modest rise, with 20 million' is slightly ambiguous. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are described with greater precision and that the chronological progression of trends is clearly linked to the specific years provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the information effectively. You use cohesive devices such as 'In terms of', 'However', 'Regarding', and 'By contrast' to guide the reader through the data. The progression of ideas is generally smooth. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences is more varied; for example, you use 'it' as a subject repeatedly, which makes the writing feel slightly repetitive. Using more sophisticated referencing or nominalization would enhance the flow and cohesion of your paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'accounted for the highest proportion', 'downward trend', and 'escalated substantially' are well-chosen and appropriate for an academic report. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'experienced a soar', which is not standard collocation; 'experienced a sharp rise' or 'soared' would be more natural. You also use 'reached its top', which is slightly informal. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and noun phrases would help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the use of 'while' and 'although' to create contrast. Most sentences are clear and easy to follow. However, there are some grammatical slips, such as 'it started from just over 5 million like retail job', where 'job' should be plural, and 'The figure for retail commenced from just over 5 million, while it experienced a soar', where the 'while' clause is slightly misused. Despite these occasional errors, your control of grammar is generally good and does not impede communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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