Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph below illustrates about the various number of employment opportunities in the four major sectors of the economy in the United States in between the years 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in Healthcare and Retail experienced continuous growth over the 60 year period of time, while employment in Agriculture steadily declined. Manufacturing sector, despite initial growth, saw a sharp drop in its workforce in the second half of the period it started a steady decline from the year 1980. By 2020, Healthcare and Retail had become the largest employers.

In the year 1960, the manufacturing sector was the dominant sector employing around 15 million people, before touching the number at 20 million in 1980. However, it steadily got decreased, falling to around 13 million by 2020.

Agriculture sector started at approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 but experienced a constant downward trend in the next 60 years period of time. Healthcare started as the smallest sector in 1960 with only 2 million jobs. It then underwent rapid growth, matching Manufacturing at around 14 million in 2010 and reaching a peak of 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the dominance of Healthcare and Retail by 2020 and the decline of Agriculture and Manufacturing. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. To reach a higher band, ensure you include more specific comparative data points. For instance, while you mention the sectors reached certain numbers, explicitly comparing the magnitude of the gap between sectors at specific intervals (e.g., in 1960 vs 2020) would strengthen the analysis. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is smooth, and you use cohesive devices such as 'However,' 'In the year 1960,' and 'By 2020' to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the specific data analysis. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences is more varied; some sentences rely on simple structures. The use of referencing is generally clear, though ensure that the connection between the overview and the body paragraphs remains tight to avoid any slight repetition of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey information clearly. Phrases like 'employment opportunities,' 'continuous growth,' and 'downward trend' are used accurately. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'illustrates about' (which is redundant) and 'it steadily got decreased' (which is awkward). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid informal phrasing. For example, instead of 'got decreased,' use 'experienced a steady decline.' Your spelling is accurate throughout the text, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are some grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'illustrates about the various number' and 'it steadily got decreased.' The phrase 'in between the years 1960 and 2020' is slightly wordy. You have good control over basic grammar, and your errors do not impede communication. To improve, focus on refining your use of passive voice and complex verb forms to enhance the sophistication of your writing. Ensure that subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the response.

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