Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs secured by the citizens in four different economic sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020. These are represented in millions.
Overall, manufactoring sector is most opted field among the people of US. Retail and healthcare sectors rose significantly from the beginning and reached to the top. Whereas, trends of agriculture sector were downwards.
In the US, manufacturing had the highest demand in 1960 with 15 million jobs; grew to its highest in the next 2 decades. Later, experienced a huge downfall. Although, there were various fluctuations in jobs of retail and healthcare sector, it significantly went upwards and finally reached the top having greater number of jobs in 2020 among all other sector with 15.5 million.
Contrary to the other sectors, agricultural sector's trend was constantly falling. It has 6 million jobs in 1960 but, it the end it remained as the lowest with 2 million jobs to the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent. For instance, the claim that manufacturing was the 'most opted field' in 2020 is inaccurate based on the graph, which shows retail and healthcare surpassing it. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing trend is vague, lacking specific data points for the peak or the end of the period. To reach a higher band, ensure that all key features are supported by accurate data from the graph and that comparisons between sectors are more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'Overall', 'Contrary to', and 'Although', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Later, experienced a huge downfall', which lacks a clear subject. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors in the third paragraph. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring subjects are clearly stated would enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'economic sectors', 'fluctuations', and 'downward trend' used correctly. However, there are some spelling errors, such as 'manufactoring', and minor collocation issues, such as 'most opted field' instead of 'most popular sector'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'plummeted', 'surpassed', or 'remained stagnant', and ensure accurate spelling throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'It has 6 million jobs' (tense error, should be 'had'), 'it the end' (preposition error), and 'reached to the top' (unnecessary preposition). Additionally, some sentences are fragmented, such as 'Later, experienced a huge downfall', which lacks a subject. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage for historical data, and reducing the frequency of minor grammatical slips.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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