Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates numerical data about the jobs in four divisions of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there is a steep rise in retail and healthcare sector whereas in manufacturing the number of jobs rise between 1960 and 1980 followed by a sharp decline till 2020. The progress of retail sector increases gradually throughout the whole period.

Furthermore, the nominating divisions are retail and healthcare as they show growth in similar pattern, starting from 6 and 2 millions respectively and both ended up on 16 millions. The manufacturing field begins from 15 millions and after a surge of 20 years shows plummet fall in the remaining years with ending on 13 million. Moreover, the number of jobs in agriculture department show a continuous decline while starting from 6 millions in 1960, remains steady between [redacted phone] and the dip to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is occasionally inaccurate. For example, you state that retail and healthcare both ended at 16 million, but the graph shows them ending at different points. Additionally, the manufacturing sector is described as ending at 13 million, which does not align with the visual data. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in reporting figures limits the score. To improve, ensure that data points are read carefully and that comparisons are supported by accurate evidence from the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'whereas' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more balanced. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between the overview and the specific details could be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct theme or grouping of data to enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plummet fall', 'surge', and 'divisions'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'nominating divisions' (which is unclear) and 'agriculture department' (the graph refers to sectors). There are also minor errors in word form, such as '2 millions' instead of '2 million'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct pluralization when referring to specific quantities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the number of jobs... show' instead of 'shows') and tense inconsistencies ('remains steady' should be 'remained steady' to match the past timeframe). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy. Focusing on consistent verb tenses and subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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