Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the the number of jobs that can be gotten in four categories of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing category significantly has the highest number of jobs in millions and declined over the years while Agriculture sector has the lowest number in same trend. It is notable that the number of jobs in healthcare and retail did not experience fluctuation in trend and kept on rising over the years.
The number of available work for manufacturers increased from 15 to 20 in 1980 after which it kept reducing to a little above 15 and 10 in 2000 and 2020 respectively. The jobs available for the agriculturers dropped from slightly above 5 to somewhere half way to 5 between 1960 and 1980. This continued over the years though slightly.
As other sectors while experiencing non availability of jobs, the people working in Retail and Healthcare sector kept on getting openings at their work place. There was no notable decline in both sectors from 1960 to 2020. Instead, it rose from around 5 million jobs to about 15 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the contrasting patterns between the declining sectors (Manufacturing and Agriculture) and the rising sectors (Healthcare and Retail). However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating that manufacturing jobs increased to 20 in 1980 is not clearly supported by standard interpretations of such graphs, and the description of agriculture as 'half way to 5' is imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just descriptive.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the overall trends to specific sector details. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as the phrase 'As other sectors while experiencing non availability of jobs'. While paragraphing is used appropriately, the transition between the description of the declining sectors and the rising sectors could be smoother to improve the flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are some non-standard word choices, such as 'gotten' (informal), 'agriculturers' (incorrect term; should be 'agricultural sector'), and 'non availability of jobs' (clunky phrasing). While the student successfully uses terms like 'fluctuation' and 'significantly', the range is limited. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'downward trajectory' or 'steady growth', and avoid informal or invented words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding, such as 'the the number', 'significantly has the highest', and 'kept on getting openings at their work place'. Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are inconsistent. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors and refining the use of complex sentence structures would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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