Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Job trends in the US in the period between 1960 and 2000 has been provided in the given graph.

Manufacturing sector has always had had a high number of available jobs with a major increase in demand in the 1980. This sector was the major contributor to the job market, creating as many as 20 million jobs in 1980. Post which there was a gradual decline. However, it still managed to create more jobs compared to retail and agriculture in the year 2000.

Healthcare industry contributed the least, that is; less than 5 million jobs in 1960, but there was a progressive demand in the upcoming years. In the 2000, healthcare sector had a little over 15million available positions. Showing a dramatic increase since the 1960s.

Agricultural sector was in par with retail in terms of available jobs in the 1960, both sectors independently had more available jobs then healthcare industry. However, this trend was not maintained. The retail industry grew to create as many as 10 million jobs by 1980 while agricultural sector had declined to less than 5 million jobs. This trend of decline in agricultural sector and contrasting growth was maintained through the rest of the years. Retail industry also created as many jobs as healthcare sector in 2000 while agricultural sector was only able to create less than 2.5 million jobs.

The variation in job market was such that in the 1960, the largest contributor was the manufacturing industry followed by retail and agriculture and lastly the healthcare sector. In contrast to this, in the 2000, the highest contributor was the healthcare sector, manufacturing industry had maintained its position but the agricultural sector had show great decline in terms of the jobs created in the US economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. You successfully highlight the main features, such as the rise of the healthcare sector and the decline of agriculture. However, the overview is slightly weak; while you describe the data in the final paragraph, a more effective overview would be placed immediately after the introduction to clearly summarise the most significant trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing dominance to healthcare growth). Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise, such as referring to 'the 1980' instead of 'the 1980s'. Overall, the response is well-supported with data, meeting the requirements for a clear summary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific sector or comparison. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from manufacturing to healthcare and then to the retail/agriculture comparison. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'In contrast to this', and 'Post which', though the latter is used incorrectly as a sentence fragment. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the flow between sentences could be smoother. Some transitions feel slightly mechanical, but the overall structure allows the reader to follow the information without difficulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contributor', 'progressive demand', and 'contrasting growth'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'was in par with' (should be 'on par with') and 'had show great decline' (should be 'had shown a great decline'). While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some errors persist. The range is sufficient to convey the information clearly, but more precise academic vocabulary would elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Job trends... has been provided') and tense inconsistencies ('had had a high number'). Punctuation is also problematic, particularly the use of a semicolon after 'that is' and the sentence fragment 'Post which there was a gradual decline.' While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and sentence completion would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.