Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the data about the employment in four sectors of the economy in America from 1960 to 2020. The value of job is given in millions
Overall, jobs available in retail and healthcare is increasing gradually whereas that in agriculture is decreasing steadily. In manufacturing sector, the employment rate is fluctuating reaching the peak at 1980.
In 1960, number of jobs in retail and healthcare was around 3 millions and 5 millions respectively, which increased and reached around 15 millions in both sector making them high job availability sector in 2020.
Agriculture remains at the bottom in all years which decreases from around 5 millions in 1960 to nearly 2 millions in 2020.
Number of jobs in manufacturing was 15 millions in 1960 which sharply increased and reached 20 millions in 1980. This is the peak value in the graph. It decreased and reached almost 13 millions in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail/healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While it mentions the general trends, it fails to highlight the most significant feature: that manufacturing was the dominant sector for much of the period before declining. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the description of the 'peak' in 1980 for manufacturing is a good inclusion. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the key differences between the sectors rather than just listing individual trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. There is a reliance on simple sentence structures to link data points, and more sophisticated linking words or phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') would improve the flow and coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends such as 'increasing gradually', 'decreasing steadily', and 'fluctuating'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'value of job' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures'. To improve, the student should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'surpassed', 'witnessed a decline', or 'remained the least significant sector', rather than relying on basic verbs like 'is' or 'was'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector', 'in both sector', 'number of jobs... was'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation issues. The control of grammar is sufficient to communicate the main points, but the frequent minor errors prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on article usage and ensuring pluralization consistency would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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