Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the number of employment in four economic sectors as manufacturing , retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is vivid that manufacturing and agriculture sectors are following downward trend whereas retail and healthcare zones are tracing upward trend. In addition, the sectors in which similar group of people are employed in recent year are retail and healthcare.

In the beginning, 15 million individuals were employed in manufacturing department. Then, count got increased significantly to 20 million. However, after that figure fall at 13 million in past four decades.

Healthcare sector showed a tremendous rise from the very fist beginning and achieved a consistent growth by reaching 16 million from 2 million.

Furthermore, field like retail offered jobs to 6 million citizens of the US. The count significantly climbed to 15 million in year 2000. After twenty years, slight change of 1 million was observed. Whilst, agriculture sector employed 6 million in 1960 and fallen moderately to 3 million in 1980. From same year, this area remained unchanged till 2000. After two decades, it slightly dropped to 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it mentions the trends, it lacks a clear, cohesive summary of the most significant changes. Some data points are imprecise or missing, such as the starting point for manufacturing, which is described as 15 million, whereas the graph shows it starting at 17 million. Additionally, the description of the retail sector's final years is slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that the overview highlights the most striking differences between the sectors more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the trends. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'In addition', 'However', and 'Furthermore', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the phrase 'In the beginning', which could be more specific by stating 'In 1960'. The use of cohesive devices is sufficient to guide the reader, but the flow could be improved by using more varied linking phrases to connect the comparisons between sectors more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'downward trend', 'upward trend', 'tremendous rise', and 'consistent growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of employment' (should be 'number of employees' or 'employment levels'), 'manufacturing department' (should be 'manufacturing sector'), and 'very fist beginning' (a spelling error). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band. Improving the variety of verbs used to describe data changes would enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include 'figure fall at 13 million' (should be 'figure fell to 13 million'), 'in year 2000' (should be 'in the year 2000'), and 'Whilst, agriculture sector' (incorrect use of 'whilst' as a sentence starter). There are also issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition use would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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