Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The provided line graph illustrates the data of proportion of jobs in four fields of the market in the US from 1960 to 2020. The data has been calibrated in millions.

At first glance, it is crystal clear that in 1960, utmost number of jobs were in manufacturing sector which were 15 million and it reached its peak in 1980 to 20 million but it gradually declined from this figure to around 13 million in 2020. Meanwhile, least number of employment opportunities in 1960 was in healthcare which soared rapidly and became one of the sectors with the maximum jobs available in 2020 with about 16 million jobs accompanied by retail field.

Probing further, retail and agriculture provided equal number of jobs in 1960 with 6 million jobs, employment in retail grew steadily

touching 16 million after six decades , while employment in agriculture went down moderately reaching to 2 million which was the lowest in 2020.

Overall, it is evident that during 1960, maximum employment opportunities were in manufacturing sector and minimum were in healthcare work whereas in 2020, highest ratio of jobs were available in retail and healthcare sector and lowest were in agriculture based field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors over the 60-year period. You successfully identified the peak of manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is slightly repetitive as it restates information already provided in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure the overview synthesizes the main trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors) rather than just listing the start and end points. The data points are generally accurate, though ensure you distinguish clearly between 'proportion' and 'number' of jobs, as the graph measures the latter.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'Probing further', and 'Overall', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and each paragraph has a clear central focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'soared rapidly', 'declined from this figure', and 'employment opportunities' are used effectively. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'calibrated in millions' (which is slightly unnatural in this context) and 'agriculture based field'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating the same phrasing for trends. The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the sophistication required for the highest bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'utmost number of jobs were' (should be 'the highest number') and 'reaching to 2 million' (the preposition 'to' is unnecessary here). Additionally, there are some minor issues with article usage (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector'). Despite these errors, they do not impede communication. To achieve a higher score, focus on refining your control over articles and prepositions, and aim for more error-free complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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